Triple Bunk Beds & Eating a Slice of Humble Parenting Pie

My parenting style has surely surprised me during the past 3 years.  Yes, Hudson is 7 years old, but I feel like I hadn’t really found out what type of parent I was going to be until I got thrown into the ‘holy shit I have three boys’ battlefield.  Parenting one adorable little prince is completely different from parenting the amount of children who could almost populate a small country.  So, it has only been recently that the true version of me as a mother has come to the surface.  And it has definitely surprised me.

I went to college and earned a Masters in Educational Psychology.  So, my parenting philosophy started off as being incredibly pretentious and smug.  I was going to use positive reinforcement, behavioral strategies, and actually communicate with and respect my children.  I came out of school firmly planted on the left wing, and ready to show up all of the other parents in the world in regards to how good parenting should actually be done.  I was already a true expert in the world of parenting (even though I didn’t have any children yet)… and all of those watching should just take notes.  With my nose high up in the sky, I took on the task of helicopter parenting like nobody’s business.  Hudson never climbed a jungle gym without the safety net of my arms beneath him… he never navigated the stairs in our house without his hand in my palm… and he was read several books before I laid him to sleep each night, in which he slept through the night perfectly by the time he was 7 weeks old because he was scheduled, and I was consistent…

Spanking… don’t even get my started on spanking because I would never, ever spank my child…

Fast forward to today… and to me eating every single one of those words (and being embarrassed as hell to even type them)… along with the karmic gods of parenting punishing me for being the most disgusting form of judgmental parent, ever.

I have three little personalities running around the house at all times.  The house is a mess every moment of the day.  I lose my temper just as many times as I pick up dirty underwear off the floor (which is a lot since they all want to change their clothes multiple times and/or have accidents which I hope will only involve #1… if I’m lucky).

Brody threw a tantrum beyond tantrums yesterday because he didn’t want to take a nap… and I spanked his little leg (insert AUDIBLE GASSSSSP here) with just enough gumption to let the sting resonate, and to ascertain the notion that Mommy don’t play.  I thought to myself, “There you go, Jodi… that’ll teach him… (in the most sarcastic tone I have ever used)”… Because actually, it just made him cry louder… and it made me feel like the shittiest parent on the planet for letting my frustration get the best of me.  But, let’s face it, my frustration gets the best of me regularly.  I don’t spank often, but sometimes I think that a little spank would probably hurt less than the fury of words that escape my mouth.  

They eat from a drive thru more times than I want to admit in a week.  I have put Hudson in charge of bed time stories now that he can read, but let’s be real… I can probably count the number of books I have read to Brody on one hand.  He is obviously a sufferer of last kid syndrome.  I do everything in my power to just make it until 7:00pm each night without one losing one of them.  And that, my friends, is my measure for success.  If they all make it into their beds  at night with at least one form of fruit or vegetable having made it into their stomachs (applesauce is totally a fruit), somewhat clean (but this is measured on a very loose scale of cleanliness), and breathing independently… then I have done my job.  And dammit, I have done it well!

Please don’t think that this is a post that requires motherly validation.  I am a damn good mother, and my kids are loved beyond measure.  And they know that they are loved, because thankfully, I am just as giving with hugs, kisses and kindness as I am with my scornful fits.  I’m simply trying to point out that I am everything that I thought I wouldn’t have been as a mother.  I fall closer in line with the traditional parenting methods that I was raised with than I thought I would be, and I am actually ecstatic about it.

I want my children to grow up together… not as individuals.  Yes, I want them to be themselves, but I also want them to grow up knowing that they are part of a whole.  And that in order for our world to function they have to learn to communicate and get along.  I want them to share a room until they move out for college.  No, I don’t think that a child needs his privacy.  I actually think that they need the opposite.  Privacy is not a need; it is an entitlement.  They need their siblings to whisper with them throughout the night about how much they hate their parents.  They need to fight over whose side of the room their toys are on, and who is going to clean them up.  They need to argue over clothes, bathroom time, and whose turn it is to pick up the dog poop.  They need a dose of healthy fear in their parents… and a  ‘you live under my house, you obey my rules’… mentality.  Because the world is full of rules.  Their place of employment will have rules; their college dorms will have rules; their marriages will have rules.  If they can’t follow rules then I have set them up for failure in society.

We live in a small house with small bedrooms, and we have thought several times about moving, but the more and more we think about it, the less and less we want to move.  Living in a small house means that I am always going to be up in my kids’ business.  They aren’t going to be able to get away from me, and I love it.  I can hear every fight that happens down a hallway, and I will always know what they are watching on television.  I will hear gossip that would have never been shared if the hallways in our house were too long.  I had this conversation with a friend once, and a few days later she gave me a gift.  It was a pillow that said, “Love grows best in little houses, with fewer walls to separate.  Where you eat and sleep so close together, you can’t help but communicate.  If we had more room between us, think of all we’d miss.  Love grows best in houses just like this.”  And, I absolutely couldn’t agree with this more.

Which is why I decided to cough up some extra money when I was hunting for a sleeping situation that would allow all three boys to share a room.  I had custom, triple bunk beds built in their room after spending hours debating the design in my head, and not finding something that I loved from a furniture store.  So far, it has been the best parenting decision I have ever made.  The laughter that trickles through the hallways at night is medicine for my overly-tired soul, and I hope that they will learn every lesson there is to be learned from sharing a room with your siblings… the most important one being… to hate their brothers’ freaking guts most of the time, but to be their best friend all of the time.   

triplebunkbeds_0001triplebunkbeds_0003triplebunkbeds_0002 triplebunkbeds_0004 triplebunkbeds_0005 triplebunkbeds_0006 triplebunkbeds_0007Bunk bed design by yours truly, and construction by Patrick Lott.  Contact me directly if you’d like Patrick’s contact information.

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  1. Emily Crall

    April 13th, 2015 at 9:11 am

    I freaking LOVE this! The post AND the bunkbeds! AMAZEBALLS. So glad I’m part of your family. ;)

  2. Jodi

    April 14th, 2015 at 10:16 am

    When will I see you again, love?

  3. Jessica Laster

    October 7th, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    Hi Jodi,
    I would like to have Patrick Lotts details as i love this idea. I have 3little ones 2 girls & a boy. They will be sharing a bedroom.

  4. Erin Schrad

    April 13th, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    Jodi, those bunk beds are awesome! I love everything you said… Too many kids today are being raised as if they are the center of the universe and should never suffer any pain or hardship or failure. That’s not life… That’s fantasyland. I just have one brother so there was no room sharing as kids except for a couple short stints between houses, but we still fought and argued with each other growing up… And we also teamed up when parents or others were “the enemy”. As adults, we’ve never been closer. He’s the one person who will know me nearly my whole life, and I his.

  5. Jodi

    April 14th, 2015 at 10:17 am

    Yes, yes, and yes Erin!! All the feels!!

  6. Samira Thameur

    October 8th, 2015 at 7:10 am

    The design and the philosophy that goes with it are simply fantastic. The beds look like they’re floating! It’s awesome. Can you please explain the project details: beds dimensions – building materials … etc. Thank you.

  7. Noemi

    October 21st, 2015 at 7:50 am

    Hi Jodi,
    I happened to find the picture of your triple bunk bed on Pinterest and absolutely love it. That would be perfect for our three boys sharing a room. Could I get in touch with Patrick ?
    Many thanks in advance.
    Kind regards,

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  9. Jeanne

    January 4th, 2016 at 7:43 am

    Jodi, these beds and organization are awesome! I love the simple and clean atmosphere and the scandanavian look! We have 4 boys and 1 girl, and I am hoping to replicate these for our big boys room. Would you offer up more details? Trying to get help with how to safely secure the beds to wall. Thank you!

  10. Jodi

    January 4th, 2016 at 10:07 am

    Hi Everyone! I’m so sorry, but I didn’t see these comments until today when Jeane posted!

    The bunk beds are standard twin size beds. They are secured into studs in the wall with massive bolts and then secured again into the ladder for additional support. They are made of wood to create the box for the mattresses to fit in, and then the ladder was custom built to size. The beds support a full grown man (230lbs!) and are very sturdy!

    The piping for the railings are simple and purchased from Home Depot or Lowes.

    I hope this helps!!


    February 1st, 2016 at 10:21 pm

    […] *Triple bunk beds and some very honest words on parenting. […]

  12. Jodi

    February 2nd, 2016 at 8:21 am

    So awesome! Glad you liked them!!

  13. noreen

    February 2nd, 2016 at 6:39 am

    As a mother of four boys myself (ages 20, 7, 3, and 1), all I can say is that I love you! We just moved into a bigger house — not because we needed more room but because we were in a small second floor condo and the neighbors just weren’t having it with our kids anymore. While we have plenty of room to roam now, we are still going to keep our 3 littles together in one bedroom, exactly for all the reasons that you mentioned. (Also, because mama needs a room for her sewing machines!)

    Rock on, mama!

  14. Jodi

    February 2nd, 2016 at 8:23 am

    Thank you, Noreen!!! We have actually just moved into a larger house, as well… but for the reason to have accommodations for our extended family to stay with us. My boys are all still sharing a room even though we have five bedrooms available now. We’re also building a new set of bunk beds too!

  15. Jenna

    February 2nd, 2016 at 7:42 am

    Hi Jodi! Visiting from housetweaking today. Love the bunk beds, but love your words on parenting more. Virtual high five from me! (A fellow mom of 3 living in a small house.)

  16. Jodi

    February 2nd, 2016 at 8:24 am

    I’m glad that you liked the post Jenna!! Thanks for the parenting-love!!

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    February 2nd, 2016 at 7:56 am

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  18. PAppel

    February 2nd, 2016 at 9:24 am

    Amen. So nice to have my views validated by another mom.

  19. Jodi Anne

    February 4th, 2016 at 10:54 am

    I feel the need to throw up mom oriented gang signs to you!! :)

  20. Jenna

    February 3rd, 2016 at 8:17 am

    Hi Jodi as a fellow mom of 3 kids –all in one room (traditional bunkbed and large loft bed). I appreciate the realness of your words. Mine are now 12, 10 1/2 and 9 the weariness of the evenings has eased so much since they were your little guys’ ages, the fights are still constant and at times vicious but I echo every one of your sentiments about about the closeness of our lives. There is no room to hide in our home but there are quiet spaces to be in solitude when needed and for me that is what is important.

  21. Jodi Anne

    February 4th, 2016 at 10:55 am

    I love this! Thank you for sharing, and for the window into what my life will look like in a few years!!

  22. SarahBeth

    February 4th, 2016 at 10:38 am


    Just the kind of honest words that make a soul feel less lonely a little more at ease. My two and five-year-old share a room and it’s bliss. It’s not been without some hiccups, but overall, a decision we’d make a hundred times over. Eavesdropping on early morning lessons on the ways of the world, how to ensure a treat for breakfast, and finding them snuggled together in the crib. I know that one day, many moons from now, they’ll thank us for this time. Right?!? :)

  23. Jodi Anne

    February 4th, 2016 at 11:06 am

    I like to think that I’m forcing them into lifelong friendships… but I also might be forcing them into a lifetime of resentment against one another. We’ll see how things pan out in the future, but for now they all love sharing a room together! The conversations are priceless. :)


  24. Krista

    February 5th, 2016 at 8:35 am

    The best thing I’ve read in a long time, and I also have three little boys so I’m surprised I still remember how to read.

  25. Sasha

    February 5th, 2016 at 10:47 am

    This is the best thing I’ve read on parenting in a long time. I started out a lot like you….read all the books on attachment parenting, etc. with my first, helicoptering all over the place. It made me an anxiety-ridden parent and created a VERY needy, dependent child. We course corrected really fast and now that I have my second, my parenting style more closely mimics the way I was raised in the south. I’m probably the only parent I know who spanks (we’re conservative with this but it really seems to be necessary with our son on occasion) or sleep trains and it can feel very isolating. I look around and it really does feel like the kids are in charge these days. So many of my friends seem to be hesitant to place boundaries on their children and while I fully support their choices and expect them to do what they feel is best, I do often feel like the odd (wo)man out. This was an encouraging read!

  26. Bri

    February 5th, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    As a mother of three boys three and under- hands down the best post I’ve read. Thank you for that. It’s funny how quickly having kids humbles us and makes us re-think our pre- parent ideas of parenting! We have bunk beds but are now in love with the triple bunk!
    Can you tell me how high your ceilings are? We have 9 foot ceilings and are wondering if this would work for our home.
    Thank you!

  27. Kylie

    February 12th, 2016 at 6:30 am

    We are expecting our second child soon and desperately trying to sell our place to move somewhere bigger than our little 2 bedroom house. Reading this brings tears of joy to my eyes, I have never thought about it in this way. Thanks, maybe we can just stay in our little house…though I still think we need to extend our living space to accommodate all the kid stuff! Can I ask if the boys shared as babies too? Thanks,
    Perth, Australia

  28. Jodi

    February 12th, 2016 at 6:39 am

    Hi love!! Congrats on the new baby!! Yes, my first two boys shared a room with a toddler bed and crib, and then when the third came along we moved the oldest out to the other room and the two babies shared. We built the bunk beds as soon as the littlest was ready to move out of his crib. So, they probably started sharing as a set of three when they were 6,3&2 years old. :)

    Best wishes to you!! xo!!

  29. Monica

    February 17th, 2016 at 9:28 pm

    Thank you for not only some amazing design inspiration, but a totally relatable post on parenthood. It’s kicking my butt right now, but like you said, we are amazing mothers if we love more than we punish, although they need the latter too! I actually posted about this myself too, how I started parenting “knowing” how to be a parent (I was a teacher, myself!), and how three little kids have quickly shown I don’t know crap. For your entertainment (includes a story of my four-year old peeing all the way down and around an aisle at Trader Joe’s):

    Can’t wait to discover more of your blog! Thank you, House Tweaking, for introducing us.

  30. Jodi Anne

    February 17th, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    Oooooh! I can’t wait to dig in!! Thank you so much for the love and relatability!! xo!!!

  31. Amy Verlennich

    March 24th, 2016 at 11:57 am

    Oh my wow… I am so glad I found you. I was searching for a triple bunk bed answer, and found laughter and “a new friend” as I read your words. :)

    “I want my children to grow up together… not as individuals.” As a mom of eleven, you can imagine, our children have never had their own room… and we’ve always been okay with that. People feel the need to tell us that we’re ruining them, but your words were music to my ears.

    Thank you for sharing this post… and your heart. I’ll be back to visit. :)

  32. Amanda

    May 18th, 2016 at 9:53 pm

    I love the bunk beds and your honesty! I have 3 boys as welland would love to make the exact bunk beds you have! They are way too cool! Do you mind sharing your plans and measurements? Thank you!

  33. Jodi

    May 18th, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Hi Amanda!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! Sadly, we don’t live in this house anymore so I don’t have the measurements! There are details on the construction in earlier comments though! We have since built a whole new set of beds at our new house!! :)

  34. Michele

    June 20th, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Thank you, I share your feelings on sharing a room. I have 3 girls, and once the baby is old enough I am going to move her into her sisters room. Currently my two daughters 5 and 2 sleep in a full bed together, but I know they would love having their own beds in the same room. Great design!

  35. Alicia

    June 25th, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    I love the beds! I live in New York so have a similar space challenge/opportunity. How do I go about finding someone to build awesome bunk beds?

  36. Nicole Reimer

    August 22nd, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    Momma of 3 boys over here and baby #4 on the way and this speaks SOOOO much truth. Thanks for this, just what i needed to hear at this time,.

  37. Shaki

    August 31st, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    It would be great if you can share where you got the bed frames & what was the overall cost

  38. Jodi

    October 7th, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Everything was custom built by the contractor. I paid him $2K for the entire job. :)

  39. Kamryn

    December 3rd, 2016 at 5:59 am

    Awww, Hayden looks like a sweet little angel!!!Oh, and the cake looks good, too. :)I live in a state where we get to see the seasons change. It is beautiful and &qio;ttradituonal", but in about 3 weeks the trees will be bare and we'll be scraping frost off our cars for the next 4-5 months. Boo. I'd take Texas over that any day! :)

  40. Bunny

    December 3rd, 2016 at 6:02 am

    you forgot grandpa, who got caught up in a bit of a ruckus and trashed some of the neghoborihod. Now he's having to do community work and pay reparations that come out of the family budget too.

  41. Keli

    December 3rd, 2016 at 6:05 am

    Thank you so much!!! You know in all my wonderful sewing books I could not find a lesson on how to do this. While making this skirt I was already thinking st8&&s#a212;sergerh#8212;-wide elastic—new wardrobe! Stylish maxi skirts for summer, here I come!

  42. Tangela

    December 3rd, 2016 at 7:46 am

    Mais qui étaient les cogneurs à l&1;8#72époque, à part Safin ? Et ce sont des problèmes très relatifs: combien de défaites contre Del Po, Soderling, Berdych, Jo ? Très peu..Beaucoup moins que les autres si tu regardes les H2H…

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  44. Tom L

    December 7th, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    Great beds! What diameter and type of pipe did you use for the railing? What kind of paint did you use? Thanks!

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  46. Priscilla

    December 29th, 2016 at 10:36 pm

    Hello there just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your post I too am a mom of 3 boys I have a 5, 4, &1yr old and like you I live in a small home in Southern California my boys share a room as well and I am trying to transition my youngest to share a room with his older brothers I loved the bunkbed idea and would love to do something like that with my boys when they do all share a room I think that living in a small home and being so close build a special bond between siblings having boys is certainly crazy and chaotic most of the time but I so love enjoy it there’s something special about raising up man. Again thank you so much for posting I really enjoyed this read

  47. maggie

    February 13th, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    I love this post. 100 percent. Mom of 2 little boys here. And those beds are great.

  48. quotes Columbus

    May 10th, 2017 at 8:19 am

    இவர்களை இப்படியே விட்டால் இன்னும் பல உயிர்களை நாம் இழக்க வேண்டிருக்கும். இந்த மாதிரி முதலாளிகளை ஊக்குவிக்கும் அரசுக்கு தக்க பாடம் கற்பிக்கவேண்டும்.வினவு, நீங்கள் வினவிவிட்டீர்கள், வினை செய்யுங்கள்.உடன் இருப்போம்

  49. Alexandra

    May 14th, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Keep on writing and chgguing away!

  50. danna

    July 25th, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    I totally love the bed. My husband is going to make one like this for my grandchildren. We have 6 of them and want them to come and stay with up but we need more beds.

  51. Felicity Gillespie

    August 9th, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    I have two 2 year old boys and one 3 year old boy. I am planning a triple bedroom next year. This is perfect! How much did it cost you and how do we do it ourselves?

  52. Deena

    August 19th, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    I would welcome any details about the way the beds are anchored – I worry about the safety of “floating beds” – clearly your beds are handling the kids jumping.

  53. Jacqueline Taylor

    September 12th, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    Okay! We need these plans! We are downsizing to 2 bedroom for our family of five. My husband and I and our three boys!!! They will have a small room and we need to keep their room open and free for space to play and just hang out.

  54. Tisha Hamberlin

    October 4th, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    Hi! I adore this post. I too have three boys, and a tiny home- that I love. Can we please connect about how he built them? I’d really appreciate it!! Thanks for sharing.

  55. Beatrice Curtis

    November 2nd, 2017 at 7:57 am

    I hope these are still available. My three boys are already talking about this arrangement. It will give the some space to play as their room is now to full.

  56. Michael Kinder

    January 29th, 2018 at 1:26 am

    Thank you for posting, it’s appreciated. This is a design that would be easy for me to replicate for my boys.

  57. Michelle T

    February 21st, 2018 at 8:43 am

    LOVE THEAE BEDS? Is there a way to get the plans for them? 💙💙💙 We have 6 kids and are in desperate need of something like this!

  58. Michelle T

    February 21st, 2018 at 8:45 am

    Correction to my previous comment:

    LOVE THESE BEDS!!!! ☺️❤️🙈

  59. Kate

    March 17th, 2018 at 9:09 pm

    I know this is an old post… but I HAD to let you know how much I love this. Every word is so completely relatable to me right now.
    I found your post searching for “three boys sharing a room”, as we’re about to let our 6yr old son and his 2.5 yr old twin brothers all bunk up together.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for such a beautiful post and for making me feel normal!! Ha!!