Minivan Manifesto

My taxi driver walked up my sidewalk this morning and scared the shit out of me when he said hello.  I didn’t expect for him to get out of his car since the taxi company had called to tell me that he was outside waiting for me.  He laughed and apologized for startling me, and then told me that he had tried to knock on the door but didn’t want to ring the bell because he figured I had kids that were sleeping.  I laughed and sarcastically chortled… did the mega-mom-SUV in the driveway tip you off?   He bantered back by throwing out that most people don’t drive that large of an SUV for the looks of it.  Touché, taxi man, touché.   But, never one to back down from some witty exchanged, I delivered my motherhood-mission-statement; I refuse to let my kids steal my swagger, so at least it’s better than a minivan.  To me, a minivan is the equivalent of womanly castration.  It’s the dad version of socks and sandals, times fifty.

If you own a minivan, this post is not meant to embarrass, chastise, or even scold you.  I am here as your Savior.  I am here to let you know that you can still make a comeback.  There are other options.  You do not have to purchase a gas-guzzling environment killing beast of an SUV like I did, nor do you have to feel the incessant need to twerk on the hood of your Escalade while making a rap video like I dream of.  But you do, for heavens sake, have to get your swagger back.

Look, I get it.  Minivans are super efficient.  I mean, their doors slide open for God’s sake, and they even close with the push of a button.  But do you know what else is efficient?  Fanny packs.  I don’t see any of you soccer moms donning the fanny pack just because it makes your life easier, so why the four-wheeled equivalent?  If your kids are young enough you’re already in the back of the car getting their carseats strapped in, so why not just shut a regular-open-from-the-hinges type of door?  Also… if your kids are old enough to do up their own seat-belt then I’m guessing that there is a good chance that they have arms too.  I bet they could close their own door, no?

What else?  What’s appealing about a minivan?  Gas mileage you say?  Bull shit, I say.  Small (or even midsize) SUVs can get you just as much gas mileage without having to have a nose like a dolphin and an ass like mom jeans.

In closing, I beckon you, my young-parent friends.  Free yourself.  Save yourself.  Reclaim your womanhood, and rise up in protest against the Caravan… Quest be damned… Honda Oddy–see your ass to the junkyard!!!

**If you’re reading this, and you really do own a minivan.  Please read this lightly, and know that I’m joking… but not really.  I’m sure there’s a car dealership near you…  ;)  Save your soul!!!

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Four Seasons Wedding Photographer :: Nicole & Alex

From the very first night that I met Nicole and Alex their focus was on two things…. 1) Becoming husband and wife, and 2) throwing a damn good party to celebrate.   They succeeded on both accounts.

Nicole & Alex chose the Four Seasons Hotel in Las Vegas to host their grand event, and grand it was.  The day ebbed and flowed as easily as Nicole and Alex’s choreographed first dance as husband and wife.  And just as they did as they watched the newlyweds dance for the first time; the guests had smiles on their faces for the entire day.

We began our day in the suites of the Four Seasons documenting the bride and groom as they dressed for the ceremony, and as we photographed kisses were shared, videos were made, and champagne was popped around every moment.  The love for the bride and groom overflowed in each of their getting ready suites, and the details leading up to the day definitely did not disappoint as Alex and Nicole have a beautiful sense of style.Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0001Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0005Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0002Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0003Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0008Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0006Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0004Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0009 Nicole first wowed her girls in her getting ready suite before heading down to see Alex for her first look… and by wowed, I mean dropped their jaws in this gorgeous Ysa Makino wedding gown and cathedral veil!! Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0010 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0011 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0012 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0013 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0014 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0015 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0016 Layers of Lovely never disappoints on her florals, but she definitely outdid herself with this stunning bouquet for Nicole.Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0017 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0018 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0019 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0020 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0021 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0022 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0023 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0024 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0025 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0026 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0027 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0028 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0029 Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0032Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0030Las Vegas Four Seasons Wedding Photographer _ Nicole & Alex_0031

Nicole & Alex,

You guys threw an exquisite wedding with beautiful details, but most importantly, your guests felt loved and appreciated as they witnessed you embark on the first day of your marriage.  I am honored to have documented your wedding day, and so blessed to call you friends.

xo.

Venue :: Four Seasons Las Vegas
Coordination & Design :: Weddings & Events by Emily
Photography :: J. Anne Photography
Videography :: Caterpillar Weddings
Floral :: Layers of Lovely
Ceremony Musicians :: T Entertainment
Lighting :: Bliss Entertainment
Linens :: RSVP Party Rentals
Reception Entertainment :: DJ Mike Fox
Hair and Makeup :: Glamsquad & Makeup in the 702
Cake :: Four Seasons Las Vegas
Wedding Gown :: Ysa Makino
Bride Shoes :: Badgley Mischka
Groom Tuxedo :: Giorgio Armani
Groom Shoes :: Salvatore Ferragamo

Independence Day

My most vivid memory of the 4th of July comes from when I was maybe six or seven years old.  Our family lived on the outskirts of our small town in New Mexico, and it was tradition to hold what – in my six year old eyes – was an epic fireworks display out in one of our pastures.  Our extended family would come over and set up lawn chairs, blankets, and any other form of seating to watch what seemed like an endless rotating door of every type of firework imaginable.  And this year had yet to disappoint.  My Dad being the emcee of the event, as always, announced that the grand finale was set to commence.  This grand finale included what can only be described as one massive circular firework that made my dad’s biceps bulge as he carried it to the perfect spot for lighting such a firework-beast.

It was essentially a huge cheese wheel of  a gun-powder-filled explosive device.  His plan was to detonate said device; sit back and revel in yet another year of firework mastery.  He sent us children away from the lighting area to our lawn chairs, lit his grandest of finales, and took a step back to marvel at his work.  But this time, it didn’t go as planned.  A roundhouse of bouncing roman-candle-like fireballs came shooting from the disc, Russian roulette-style, but without the Russian as every single caliber was loaded.  Screeching fireballs came shooting into the direction of our lawn chairs which sent the peanut gallery sprinting to safety.  For me, safety meant across the pasture, through the horse pen, out the gate, across the drive way, through the carport, and onto the back porch.  With the screen door acting as my shield.  It was downright awesome.  Exhilarating.  And death-defying at the same time.  And the only thought that I can remember going through my head is… “Whooooooooa…my dad is so bitchin’.”

Wishing everyone a happy, and fireball-free holiday weekend!!  xo.

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